Greatest Love

*There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. (I John 4:18)

*For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

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Find My Real Soul Mate

Sometimes love seems like it is fleeting, we feel as though we are going through life trying to find the Holy Grail only to be disappointed at the lack of it's authenticity. Time and time again we are disappointed as the feelings that were once there die down and our life and relationship becomes routine. We become afraid and untrusting to take yet another chance with someone who will simply hurt us or worse, we may hurt them.

We know the concept of soul mate as this mysterious thing that other people find and if you are lucky you will find it to. We think that there is one person out there that will complete us and fill the void that we feel in our chest. The truth is that luck has absolutely nothing to do with it and no one can fill that void. I know that may sound like a bad thing but bear with me it is actually a very good thing. You may read what I have to say and it will inspire you to change your way of thinking, you may be afraid and stick to the old patterns that you are used to. The choice is yours and I am simply relating my experience and what I have gotten out of it.
For a long time I was searching for my elusive soul mate. I knew she was out there and I felt I had found her several times only to be wrong. I had looked at my parent's relationship and thought maybe it was their fault. They had never given me an example of what love was supposed to look like, they hated each other.
I soon figured it wasn't their fault because I would simply use them as an example of what not to do. So I dated many women, looking for the "one" I decided during this point that I would not settle for just anyone. I ended up meeting a woman who I thought would challenge me and keep things interesting. I was older now and decided marriage would be a step in growing up. I figured I had found the one. Many unhappy years later I determined I was wrong and our relationship ended in divorce.
Very soon after that I thought I had met my soul mate. She was absolutely perfect in every way, I even wondered why she would be interested in a bum like me. She later agreed with me and once again I was alone. My problem wasn't that I was unworthy of love, the problem was I was looking for the wrong thing. Once I realized that what I had been lead to believe was love was wrong, my entire world changed. I have not looked back since and am happier with every day that passes.
There is a need inside of us to fill our void as if something is missing. We look everywhere for it wanting to find relief of that darkness that seems to inhabit part of our being. Many relate to this feeling in a different way, some will try and fill the void with food. They will eat beyond their needs just to feed the hunger they feel. Some look for it in sex, others their career. This list goes on and on, but you will never find it when you are looking outside yourself.
I was the same as most, I would say I liked myself but that wasn't true. I felt like I was a flawed person, I felt as though my life had no real meaning. I felt like I only tried to be good but wasn't. I felt like a failure in life and relationship. What I didn't know at the time was that I was punishing myself for being imperfect. I would make comments like:
"I'm not good enough."
"I wish I wasn't alone."
"I think I will be alone for the rest of my life."
"I would be lucky to find someone who loves me."
Speaking these words and believing them created this reality for me. The void in my soul was love and I was trying to find someone to love me. I would do anything including changing who I was in order to make the other person happy and love me.
This is where the problem is and this is why relationships suffer the difficulties that they suffer. There is absolutely no reason for you to believe that you are flawed, because you are not flawed. There is absolutely no reason for you to believe that you are anything but perfect. This is where the insecurities and fear will smack you in the head and start trying to justify all the reasons you are not perfect.
Your mind will say "You are not perfect because you are not organized enough." Or "you are not perfect because you are not pretty or handsome enough." Or "You are not perfect because you are too emotional." You will also hear a very common term used in our world "Nobody's perfect." I am here to tell you that this is a lie. You are absolutely perfect and no one is as perfect at being you as you are.
This is where the secret to a successful relationship comes in; this is where you meet your soul mate. When you believe that you are perfect the way you are you will be yourself around everyone. You will no longer conform to what other people tell you is perfect and thus you will no longer fail at meeting someone else's determination of what perfection is.
You will realize that you do not need anyone to make you feel special because you already are special. In finding your perfection you will find the perfection in others. You will find your soul mate, you will find the person who loves you for who you are and will not try to get you to compromise to be what they need.
Your love will be unconditional, there will be no expectations. There will be no conditions and you will do things simply because you want to make yourself happy without recognition. You will find someone who you can love just the way they are and you will both inspire each other to always be genuine and never compromise.
Somewhere along the lines we got all of this backwards. I have actually heard the term "Love is work." That is completely ridiculous and makes no sense, love is love and if someone is telling you that it is work they are simply trying to justify why they themselves are not happy.
True love never dies; it is eternal and is in no way something you have to justify to yourself. If you are not happy, if you are in a situation in which you feel stuck in my opinion that is not love.
Your soul mate is you. Fall in love with you and you will never allow yourself to settle or put up with any abuse from anyone. You will be genuine about who you are and will find happiness and love all the time. You are always with you, so the relationship you will have is a direct reflection of how you treat yourself.
If you abuse yourself and tell yourself that you are not good enough, then you will only attract someone who will treat you the same.
You are your soul mate, fall in love with you... Your life will change in so many ways.

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1 comment:

PALS said...

You should not search for love but you should wait for love to search for you. Love will just come and you can't see it coming. It is just there.

Thank you
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